Word count: 685
#1 in the When Today Becomes Tomorrow series
An episode tag for Chase A Wild Horse
Memories haunt Murdoch. A missing scene from CAWH, set during the night after Johnny has left with Wes.
“I’m sorry.” Murdoch awoke from sleep with a start, his heart racing.
The face of Johnny in his dream saying those words transformed into that of his mother. It had been years since that dream of Maria had haunted him.
Then as now he had been cold and unforgiving to the apology. The look on his young wife face was of hurt quickly replaced by disappointment exactly the same as Johnny’s had been.
He let out a breath rose from his bed and poured a glass of water. His hand was shaking as memories of that event played out in the dark of the night.
She had taken Johnny on a walk to the meadow hoping to tire the active toddler out before the local meeting of the cattleman and their wives due to be held at the hacienda. Time had slipped by as they picked flowers and collected coloured stones from the stream. The meeting had started without her presence as the hostess and was half way over by the time they had returned.
Even Johnny offering a gift of pebbles with a wide smile had not warmed his heart.
As the memory faded Scott’s words from earlier came back to him, it was true he was all pride, with not one inch of give.
“You old fool Murdoch Lancer, you are a father to Johnny, not his Patron, don’t drive him away as you did his mother.” The words, the blame, so long hidden away came out raw with grief and regret. He watched the sun rise on a new day, he would have to give and find a way to put his pride to one side.
Lo siento – I’m sorry
When Johnny puts his pride to one side to apologise for a second time. A missing scene from CAWH, set before Murdoch takes him to chase wild horses.
Johnny took a deep breath and blew out slowly through pursed lips. ‘You can do this’ he told himself as he knocked and opened the door.
Scott was sat up in bed, his arm in a sling, an open book on his lap.
Johnny shut the door and wandered around touching the furniture and objects until he came to a halt at the foot of the bed.
Scott had stayed silent, watching his every move.
‘Patient kind of a man’ Johnny thought and took another breath “lo siento Scott.”
Scott raised an eyebrow.
“That’s I’m sorry. Sorry ‘bout that.” Johnny pointed at the sling.
“You have nothing to be sorry about brother.” Scott had a small smile on his face.
“Heck Scott you caught a bullet ‘cos of my run in with the Stryker’s.” He scowled turned on his heel making his spurs sing and paced up and down, aware that Scott was watching his every move.
This feeling of guilt, of needing to take the blame and apologise was uncomfortable. He ran his fingers through his hair. Guilt was nothing new, but apologising with his pride that didn’t come easy. Saying sorry was becoming a habit and it hadn’t gone well when he had said those words to the ol’e man.
The silence in the room stretched, he turned back to see Scott was still smiling at him and couldn’t help but smile back.
What was it about this easterner who had started out as a stranger on a stage and now here he was saying sorry to him as his brother.
Scott closed his book “It’s not easy learning to be a brother is it?”
Johnny shook his head “not easy at all, and the o’le man as a father takes some getting used to.”
“I agree, but can you and I agree we’re in this together?”
Johnny played with the bracelet around his wrist and looked down to study well-worn boots. ‘Oh boy,’ he thought ‘Scott sure has a way of prodding me to put into words feelings I usually keep hidden even from myself.’
Scott’s voice made him look up.
“Not a one man deal anymore is it Johnny?” Scott was grinning as words exchanged in those first days were repeated.
“You don’t give up do you, Scott? …. Okay, we’re in this family thing together.”
Johnny knew at that moment they would trust each other. Lancer would look after its own.
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